When we think about romance, we’re usually taught to look forward.

Plan the date.
Buy the gift.
Make the reservation.
Create a moment that hasn’t happened yet.

But here’s something surprisingly romantic — and far more powerful than most Valentine’s gestures:

Remembering how you met.

Not polishing it.
Not summarizing it in one sentence.
But actually stepping back into the story.

Because when you remember how you met, you don’t just recall a fact.
You revisit a feeling.

Psychologists Nicole Alea and Susan Bluck studied something called the intimacy function of autobiographical memory.

In plain language?
They found that sharing personal memories — especially meaningful ones — increases emotional closeness between people.

And origin stories?
They’re some of the most powerful memories we have.

When couples revisit how they met, their brains don’t treat it like old information.
They treat it like a shared emotional experience happening again.

That’s why the warmth comes back so quickly.
Why smiles show up without trying.
Why the tone between you softens.

Your nervous system remembers:
This is the person I chose.

Gifts are lovely. Truly.
But they live in the present moment.

Memories live across time.

When you remember how you met, you’re connecting:

• who you were then
• who you are now
• and everything you’ve built in between

That creates a deeper kind of romance — the kind rooted in history, meaning, and shared identity.

It’s not flashy.
It’s anchoring.

When couples talk about how they met, a few things tend to happen naturally:

• You remember your younger selves — hopeful, nervous, curious
• You reconnect with early affection and admiration
• You see how far you’ve come
• You feel gratitude for choosing each other

Even couples who’ve been married for decades often say,
“I forgot how sweet that part was.”

That forgetting isn’t a failure.
It’s just what happens when life gets full.

Remembering brings it back.

You don’t need a notebook or a special setup — unless you want one.

You can simply ask:

• “What do you remember about the first time we met?”
• “What surprised you about me back then?”
• “When did you realize this might be something?”

Let the story wander.
Let details come back.

And if you’re writing your love story?
This is the perfect place to begin.

Valentine’s Day often celebrates what love looks like now.

Remembering how you met reminds you why it started.

And that reminder — that origin spark — can be far more romantic than any card, dinner, or box of chocolates.

Because it says:

“Out of all the people in the world,
we found each other — and we kept choosing this.”

That’s not just romantic.

That’s meaningful.

💗 Until next time,

Tami